Some asshat lawyer-cum-judge is suing a DC area dry cleaner for $65 million (via) because they lost a pair of his pants that he brought in for alternations. Roy Pearson, an administrative law judge for the District of Columbia, believes that he should be awarded $65 million for the loss of a pair of $150 pants in order to cover his litigation costs, for “mental suffering, inconvenience and discomfort,” for the value of the time he has spent on the lawsuit, for leasing a car every weekend for 10 years and for a replacement suit, according to the court papers that he has filed.
Pearson’s first letter to the Chungs sought $1,150 so he could buy a new suit. Two lawyers and many legal bills later, the Chungs offered Pearson $3,000, then $4,600 and, finally, says their attorney, Chris Manning, $12,000 to settle the case.
But Pearson pushes on. How does he get to $65 million? The District’s consumer protection law provides for damages of $1,500 per violation per day. Pearson started multiplying: 12 violations over 1,200 days, times three defendants. A pant leg here, a pant leg there, and soon, you’re talking $65 million.
This Pearson character is a pure, unadulterated asshat extraordinaire. The entire law profession is already looked down upon by the majority of the public, mainly because the lot of them are a bunch of snakes and spiders, willing to jump on anything in order to make a buck. But $65 million for a lost pair of $150 pants?
I know, everyone is thinking, well that old hag that spilled $2.50 McDonald’s coffee in her lap ended up receiving $640,000 after the judge reduced the award from $2.9 million, so why should this guy be left out? Plain and simple: at the very least, the old lady got hurt in the process, even if by her own accord. What happened to this asshat attorney-cum-judge? Nothing!
Cases like this are rarely dismissed with prejudice even though they should be. The presiding judge should smack Pearson back down to reality, because this guy has the mistaken belief that the legal system should be abused for profit. America really needs to see some tort reform; if this is not an obvious indicator of such a need then I am not sure what is.